We as humans constantly make and break relationships. Unfortunately relationships can make and break human beings too.
Relationships! We can’t live with, we can’t live without them. Why are relationships such a circus for most of us? And how do we keep this bond from turning into bondage?
Read: Relationship goals
In today’s blog I am going to talk about something about connection, attachment and expectations in our relationships… How we emotionally connect with each other ? How we emotionally attach with each other ? and and Why we expect in our relationships? Do we form and maintain relationships to fulfill our needs, or do we do it to express our joy? Every relationship, everything has something to give and everything has something to take.
Read: STOP Pretending !
Let’s first talk about connection…
Physical intimacy & chemistry is great, but having an emotional connection with someone is an amazing feeling,say quite incomparable. And when you have that nothing quite like it, is it? Do you have emotional connection with your partner? Do you have Partner ? or maybe you have someone there in your life ? then find out! Determine Do you feel an emotional connection with that person? I know in Initial stage it is quite confusing to identify to know if you do have any emotional connection with each other. When you have a genuine connection with someone It reflect every aspect of your life and you are not wearing to reveal a strange weird side of yourself to that person. You know that, how weird your habit is, your partner is not going to judge you. generally, men have been taught to keep their emotions to themselves, and told not to cry. But In healthy relationship, where you share a deep connection, you have created such a space that your partner feel safe to share his emotions with you (and so you do)… no matter what he’s going through. Also, when it comes to life it is important, you are each others priority. when you share a true emotional connection with someone, you put that person first, not as an obligation but just because you want to.
Second most important is attachment,
Do you think emotional attachment means lack of freedom, that tied to someone habits and belief and tend to avoid change and anything new? Loving someone or attached to someone is interlinked but they are partially different from each other. We humans are easily attached- attached to objects, events, people, our personal belongings, routine, environment, almost everything. We tend to feel self-centered, to feel our needs with these particular things. Let’s talk about a kind of attachment towards people. We tend to get attached to people because of how they let us feel. we always believe that we like or we are supposedly in love with this particular person, when in fact we are simply attached to them. You love how they always make you feel. we usually pursue relationship with people because we are comfortable with them and so it drives us to stay… (….the whole context of attachment). Why we stay? We stay because we feel appreciated, we get attention, we feel special, we get complimented.
We are trying to find our needs and we usually needs attention and we love being in this kind of state. As humans, love is part of our needs. We need Love. Love is not demanding, not desperate and less self-centered – it’s where you feel the need to protect and love regardless of whatever it is. Our family, and this is not just typical mother and father. This could be friends, anyone who you call your family. we complete each other and we could do anything for our family because a bond was built as its foundation. Some goes for that particular person- we don’t disregard flaws but then we accept them. Attachment is where you feel the need to talk to this person, you need to feel happy, you need to feel love. Love doesn’t need that all, it’s unreasonable and impulsive.
Read: choiceschanges
Lastly but not the least, lets talk about expectation… a lot is already been said .. expectation!
We expect because we want happiness, we love and we expect love from them in return. We faces many challenges in life because we feel to learn to accept people for they truly are. Don’t have high expectations at one point or another, only to be disappointed when things do not turn out the way we want it. When those expectations are not met, we need to keep in mind the way it affects us. Now how is expectation effect relationship? Any relationship can be damaged, because it’s not fair to put an unachievable standards on your partner, family members, friends or close friends. In the end, both individuals are affected and get disappointed towards each other. I think, these expectations are fantasies and false hopes that ruin your idea of a partner. Carrying higher expectations in a relationship can take shape in few days. for example a man expect to his wife to take care of house and chores in the same way as his mother did, but to avoid such issues one should never compared to their partners parent. And this is vice versa. This is unfair and unrealistic. It’s OK to expect some of traits, but if you expect to be as a polished as your parent, you are holding them up to win an unachievable expectation. Now, there is expectation of change, expecting the unexpected! Why we do this? I feel it is also very damaging, if you expect changing your partner. What motivates you that they you change someone? It happens all the time. They begin to lose themselves.
To conclude, I must say, setting up unfair and unreasonable expectation on your relationship, can only lead to frustration and disappointment. it is great to setting goals in your relationship but let’s make sure these are realistic goals. Don’t just live together, grow together! It will make your relationship more healthier than before and it will bring more happiness and more attachment more excitement more connection towards each other. Those who examine their relationships can never stay in any relationship. There have been moments of joy, sharing, oneness and of course moments of support and security but more than anything there is the fear of being alone. It is not always love which brings relationships. The fear of being alone, the fear of being losing something is the major reason why people stay together not only in marriage but in everything else. if you want to have a wonderful relationships, do not try to manage relationship, look how to enhance who you are on a level – like physically, mentally, emotionally and if you do so if you enhance yourself into a very beautiful state , I think everyone will want to hold a relationship with you. and if you continue stressing how to manage everything then , it is not going to work at all. everything else gets naturally managed if you know how to manage yourself whether it is your profession your relationship or whatever else in your life it will happen to its best only when who you are is truly enhanced. Comment what you think.
You can do better.
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