Why do we confuse abuse with love ? Are they both the same? Of course not! But they feel similar for some. How emotional abuse affects relationships? What is mental abuse?  Let’s ‘s discuss about it . .
What is it – Abuse or love?
Most of the time, our emotions take over and we cannot accept the fact that we are being abused. When they are angry at us we are so proud of the fact that it is out of liberty they take in us. They even hurt us and we think they are not in good mood and it is temporary. When they ignore us we think they are busy with work and they will get back to us soon. When they put us down we readily accept that we deserve it because we hold such a high position for them in our heart. Above all, When they constantly talk in favour of other people we try to change ourselves to fit into that description. Sometimes we get into this pattern for so many years that it becomes a habit for us to empathise with them no matter how harsh they are. We confuse abuse with love and are not ready to break the cycle.
The quicker we break the pattern, the better for us.
How emotional abuse affects relationship?Â
Emotional abuse is a serious form of abuse that may come before or after physical abuse. It can have long and short term effects. These might be psychological and physical or both. A person may be subjected to emotional abuse from a number of different person throughout their lifetime. It could be parents, partners, friends and colleagues. Every kind of abuse impacts relationship between the two. In addition to that person who is subjected to emotional abuse within a relationship, may be less likely to trust people or believe in relationship in future. For example, as children as they grow up they might seek negative relationships that expose them to emotional abuse.
What are the signs or symptoms of emotional abuse?Â
Shaming, bullying or humiliating a child, giving a child the silent treatment, limiting a signs of affection, calling child names, exposing them to violence against others. These are the very common signs of emotional abuse to a child. Coming to relationship emotional abuse, people who are emotionally abusive may not be  physically abusive first. However, emotional abuse can lead to physical abuse if the relationship continues down towards an unhealthy track. Marital emotional abuse, marriages are not the gateway or does not give anyone the right to abuse their partners sexually, physically , emotionally or any other way. The signs of emotional abuse within a marriage are same as of non marital relationships- Humiliation, emotional blackmail, gaslighting and invasion of property.
Mental abuse >> confusing with love?Â
What is mental abuse?- A form of manipulation and control. Use of threats, verbal insults and some other way of controlling other people’s way of thinking. Most importantly the effects of mental abuse are same as detrimental as the effects of physical abuse. Mental abuse can be severe, it can be of different patterns, can also be easy to dismiss. The outcome of mental cruelty is it destroys one self-esteem and confidence.
Concluding- Why do we confuse abuse with love?Â
I know it’s very difficult especially if the abuser is a loved one. But this hurt they cause over a number of years acts like slow poison and attacks our physical & mental health in the long run. Any kind of trauma can affects one’s emotions, memory, thinking and sense of self. This can also affects relationships, women feels helpless and trapped by abuse. Few feel isolated, full of fear and distrust. It is in our hands to take responsibility for our happiness and also of others. We deserve this transformation from pain to happiness as we all are worthy of love & respect. So who so ever reading this either an abuser or a survivor, be particular about your words you speak. Don’t confuse your love and your abusive behaviour together. They sound like they are protecting you, but the reality is they are controlling. Are you getting the difference between the two? On the name of love, society and importance of family, don’t suppress someone else’s choices, needs and dreams.
Remember, the mental or emotional abuse doesn’t even show and people don’t understand until they experience it, the lost confidence takes a really long time to be regained. If you are stuck in such kind of relationship, have courage to speak and be strong enough to get out of these situations. Don’t confuse abusive character with love. Be courages enough to chase the path of love and happiness for inner self. Stay blessed. You can do better!
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